Most of us already have the tools.
We just haven’t named them yet.
And once we name them, we can reach for them on purpose - instead of waiting to stumble across them by accident.
For children:
To find your toolkit, try:
Think of a hard time that got a little better. What helped, even slightly?
Look for the patterns - is it movement? Making something? Being with someone? Being alone? Being outside? A specific comfort?
Name the people too - who in your life makes hard things feel more manageable just by being there?
Write it down - a list, a drawing, a few words. Keep it somewhere you can find it.
Come back and add to it - your toolkit grows as you do.
Your toolkit might include things like:
Moving your body - walking, running, dancing, swimming.
Making something - drawing, building, writing, baking.
Being with someone safe - talking or just being near.
Being in a specific place - outside, in your room, somewhere familiar and calm.
A comfort that’s just yours - a show, a song, a food, a smell, a texture.
Telling someone - saying it out loud, even if they can’t fix it.
For grown-ups:
This week, try:
Asking about the past, not the hypothetical - “think of a time something felt hard. What helped, even a little?”
Listening for unexpected answers - the toolkit is individual. All genuine helpers count.
Naming the people in your child’s toolkit explicitly.
Helping them write it down - a simple, short list they can return to.
Building your own list too - and keeping it somewhere you can find it.
🌱 A grounding moment — try this together
Sit somewhere comfortable.
Take it in turns to answer:
“One thing that genuinely helps me when things feel hard is...”
Let the answers be whatever they honestly are — however small, however unexpected.
Then write them down.
That’s your toolkit. 🫶
