The comparing game has no end.
There will always be someone who does one thing better.
But there is only one you.
And nobody in the world can do you better than you.
For children:
When you find yourself playing the comparing game, try these:
Notice it: “I’m playing the comparing game.” Just naming it is enough to give it less power.
Redirect it: Instead of “they’re better than me,” try “I wonder how they learned to do that.”
Come back to yourself: “What’s one thing that is particularly, wonderfully mine?”
You don’t have to be the best at anything.
You just have to be you.
And you are already very good at that.
For grown-ups:
This week, try:
Specific noticing. Tell your child one thing you see in them that is uniquely theirs — not a skill, but a quality. “I notice the way you check if people are okay. That’s a rare kind of kindness.”
Catching the game together. If you notice your child comparing, name it warmly. “Sounds like the comparing game. Shall we try the curiosity game instead?”
Modelling enough-ness. When you make something imperfect — a meal, a craft, a plan — say out loud: “That’s not perfect, but it’s good enough and I made it. I’m pleased with that.”
🌱 A grounding moment — try this together
Sit together somewhere comfortable.
Take one slow breath each.
Then take it in turns to finish this sentence:
“Something that is particularly, wonderfully me is…”
It can be silly. It can be small. It can be serious.
There’s no wrong answer.
You are enough. You always were. 🫶
