The people we love most are sometimes the ones who drive us most up the wall.
This is not a sign that something is wrong.
It is what happens when people who love each other spend a great deal of time in close quarters.
The friction doesn’t cancel out the love.
Both can be true at exactly the same time.
For children:
When a sibling (or someone close) is driving you a bit mad, try:
Name what you need: “I need some quiet time right now.”
Find a small space that’s yours - even just for a little while.
Remember the love underneath. The friction and the love can both be there together.
Try saying: “I need a bit of space, but I still like you.”
For grown-ups:
This week, try:
Normalising the friction without dismissing it. “It makes sense this is hard - you’re spending a lot of time together.”
Avoiding taking sides in smaller squabbles where possible - let them practise working it out.
Building in individual time for each child - a little space from each other makes the togetherness easier.
Naming the love underneath in calm moments. “I know she drives you mad sometimes. I also see how much she loves you.”
🌱 A grounding moment - try this together
Think of someone you love who also drives you a little bit mad sometimes.
Notice both feelings - the love and the frustration - living in you at the same time.
Take one slow breath.
And say quietly: “I can love someone and find them hard. Both things are true.” 🫶
