Feelings don’t get better in a straight line.
They go forward and back and sideways before they finally settle.
The return of a feeling isn’t failure.
It’s the feeling finishing what it started - at its own pace, in its own time.
For children:
When a feeling comes back after you thought it was gone, try:
Name it without panic: “This feeling came back. That’s okay. It’s still settling.”
Be kind to yourself the way you’d be to a friend who was still hurting.
Let go of the timeline - whoever decided there was a right amount of time to feel things was making it up.
Tell someone you trust that today feels harder again - you don’t have to carry the wave alone.
For grown-ups:
When recovery doubles back, try:
Naming the wave without alarm - “feelings sometimes come back for a while. That doesn’t mean we’re back at the beginning.”
Resisting the rush to cheer up or distract. Sitting calmly with the return is almost always more helpful.
Challenging the internal timeline gently — “who decided you should be over this by now?”
Watching the overall pattern rather than individual days - the question is whether they’re moving, over time, in the direction of feeling better.
Modelling your own waves - letting children hear that your recovery goes forward and back too.
🌱 A grounding moment - try this together
Think of something hard that took longer to feel better than you expected.
Notice: did the extra time mean you failed? Or did it mean the feeling needed more space?
Take one slow breath.
Say quietly: “I’m allowed to take as long as I need.”
Let that be true - for you and for them. 🫶
