Jealousy is not a character flaw.
It’s a universal feeling that tells us something about what we value, want, or are missing.
Everyone feels it: children, grown-ups, even the very kind ones.
The feeling is always allowed. What we do with it is what we can learn to choose.
For children:
When the twisty feeling arrives, try:
Name it: “I think I’m feeling jealous.”
Notice what’s underneath: Is it really about the object, or about wanting to feel special, included, or noticed?
Let both feelings exist: You can feel jealous and be happy for someone, both at the same time.
Be kind anyway: Jealousy is allowed. Unkindness is something we can choose not to act on.
For grown-ups:
This week, try:
Naming jealousy without judgement when you notice it in your child and in yourself.
Validating without minimising. Skip “you have plenty already” in favour of “it makes sense you’d want one too.”
Exploring what’s underneath the want; often it’s about feeling special or seen, not the object itself.
Modelling it occasionally let your child hear you name a moment of jealousy in your own life, calmly and without shame.
🌱 A grounding moment — try this together
Sit somewhere comfortable.
Think of a time you felt jealous of someone.
Notice: did you also feel happy for them, even a little, somewhere underneath?
Both feelings can live in the same moment.
That’s not confusing. That’s just being human. 🫶
