Hello, kind grown-up,
There’s a particular kind of confusion that often shows up in the first few days of school holidays, for children and often for the adults managing them too.
Children frequently expect to feel purely excited when term ends. So when they instead feel restless, flat, clingy, or unexpectedly tearful in the first day or two, it can be confusing for everyone. “But you wanted the holidays; why are you so grumpy?”
What’s actually happening is a genuine adjustment.
Term time, whatever its stresses, offers children a predictable structure: bells, timetables, expectations, routine. Removing that structure suddenly, even for something wanted and positive, asks a child’s nervous system to recalibrate. That recalibration can look like grumpiness, low-level anxiety, or aimless restlessness before it settles into ease.
What helps in these first few days:
Name the adjustment, don’t just the mood.
“The first few days of holidays can feel a bit strange; your brain’s used to a routine, and it takes a little while to find a new one.” This normalises the wobble rather than treating it as ingratitude.
Resist filling every hour immediately.
The instinct to plan exciting activities for every single day of the holidays can backfire; children (and adults) often need a few slower, emptier days first to actually downshift before they can enjoy more.
Offer a small, gentle structure rather than none at all.
Complete absence of routine can feel just as unsettling as too much of it. A loose shape to the day, breakfast, some outside time, a quiet bit, can help without recreating school.
Expect the wobble to pass.
Most children settle into the rhythm of the holidays within a few days. The first 48–72 hours are often the hardest, and that’s developmentally completely normal.
This isn’t a sign that something’s wrong.
It’s a sign that your child’s nervous system is doing exactly what it should, adjusting to a real change, even a welcome one.
With warmth,
Lenny 🦁
